Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Tagged by the literati lizard. . .

My pal Bradley recently memed a little meme of literary classics, and I agreed to follow suit. So here goes:

Q1. What is the best classic you were “forced” to read in school (and why)?

Hmm . . . [scanning bookshelf]. This kind of question is precisely what makes canon discussions so darn difficult, no? Okay, so . . .

Today, at this moment, I’m thinking my choice must be Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man (though some may foolishly contest its canonical status). Here’s why:

Though separated by both time and war, Ellison’s novel seems to me the logical conclusion of two truly remarkable American moments, the Jazz Age and the Harlem Renaissance, in style, tone, and subject: for me, it’s like the literary grandchild of Dorothy Parker and Langston Hughes. Still almost painfully relevant, Invisible Man is uniquely, cogently, an American novel, one that speaks across multiple cultural moments---its narrator’s, its author’s, and this, our contemporary moment. Consider Ellison’s lines: “Step outside the narrow borders of what men call reality and you step into chaos [. . .] or imagination” (576) and “Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in the face of certain defeat” (577). The book is worth reading for these passages alone.

In fact, it has been a decade since I last read it; I do believe it is time to have another look.


Q2: What was the worst classic you were forced to endure (and why)?

Vanity Fair. Vanity Fair. Oh, Dear God, Vanity Fair. Never has any author even come close to rivaling Thackeray’s contemptible, damnable characters. I hated them all. I hate him for writing them into existence. I realize that it is intentionally a “Novel without a Hero.” I don’t care. Vanitas Vanitatum be damned. I hate this novel. If I have to say much more, I will just start swearing uncontrollably.


Q3: Which classic should every student be required to read (and why)?

Though not fiction (and for some reason I just assumed we were talking fiction here), I’m going to jump genre and recommend that every student should be required to read and thoughtfully consider Aristotle’s On Rhetoric and Poetics (and since there is a quality compilation edition available, I’m counting these treatises as one). There is so much of value for anyone interested in language, discourse, civic participation, et al.

(and . . . can you require someone to ‘thoughtfully consider’ a work? Neat.)

If I must decide on a distinctly literary piece, however, then I’ll go with poetry here and select Dante’s The Inferno (the rest of the Divine Comedy should be recommended, but not required, reading).


Q4: Which classic should be put to rest immediately (and why)?

This is a tough one because even though there are a few classics I despise (Canterbury Tales, Vanity Fair, Tess of the D’Urbervilles, The House of Mirth, The Old Man and the Sea), I suppose I can see their literary value and purpose. But to put to rest a classic . . .

Well . . . it’s a major stretch, but I’ll go with the entire Star Trek corpus (including the franchise). Maybe only a cult classic, the novels were inspired by a bad ‘60s television show!? C’mon now. So I’ll go with a loose interpretation of ‘classic’ and ax Star Trek, effective immediately.

I’m also a little over the Kerouac hype, but I don’t know if I’d put On the Road to rest, per se---especially since I kinda dig it.


Q5: **Bonus** Why do you think certain books become classics?

Here I’ll adopt Kerr’s definition of curriculum and apply it to the classics: “nothing less than the statement a college [perhaps in this case, a culture] makes about what, out of the totality of man’s [sic] constantly growing knowledge and experience, is considered useful, appropriate, or relevant to the lives of educated men and women at a certain point of time.”

That, coupled with longevity--or perhaps the honoring of or curiousity about what has been “useful, appropriate, or relevant” to previous generations ---is, to my mind, what makes a classic.

I would also argue that craft has something to do with it, though that may be a troubled and tenuous argument.




And now, to plagiarize Bradley, if you are reading this, consider yourself tagged.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Okay . . . just . . . breathe . . .

So, after my run this evening, my hubby drops this little bomb:

Kurt: So did ya’ read the sports news today?

Me: Oh! That Rodriguez and Michigan will pay up on what they owe WVU?

Kurt: Okay, no. The other sports news: a few of the Steelers shareholders have been shopping the team around. Not the Chairman---what’s his name?

Me: [with growing shock and panic] Dan Rooney?!

Kurt: Yeah, not him, but I guess his brother . . . and a few other family members who hold shares.

Me: But . . . . But . . . . [blathering, incomprehensible, breathless drivel]

[Pause]

But . . . Rooney! Pittsburgh! Steelers!

[Pause]

NO! Art Rooney bought that team in 1933! They can’t---

Kurt: Well, we’re in an age without loyalty . . .

Me: The Steelers are all about loyalty! They’ve only had three coaches in nearly 40 years!

[Pause]

Can’t . . . leave . . . Pittsburgh!

Must be Steelers. Must be Pittsburgh. Must be Rooney. Not good. Not good at all.

[Pause. Panic growing.]

No, no, no, no, no. Won’t happen. The City of Pittsburgh will NEVER let it happen. They can’t. Oh, they can’t. I don’t think I can breathe. I hope those other Rooneys don’t live in Pittsburgh . . . mob . . . pitchforks . . . torches . . . black tar, gold feathers . . .

How. Dare. They?!

[Frantic searching on the Web]

Okay . . . from Steelers.com:

“Steelers Chairman Dan Rooney stated, ‘I have spent my entire life devoted to the Pittsburgh Steelers and the National Football League. I will do everything possible to work out a solution to ensure my father’s legacy of keeping the Steelers in the Rooney family and in Pittsburgh for at least another 75 years.’”


And this guy, this Matthew J. Darnell, from Yahoo! Sports, I enjoy him:

Steelers fans can take comfort in the following:

• Druckenmiller [the team's prospective buyer] might be the only man on the planet who's worth more than $3 billion and regularly paints his face for football games

• He wore a Troy Polamalu jersey and a hard-hat to a game last year

• Will not sit in a luxury box, and prefers to be in the stands with like-minded Steelers fans

• There's no chance he'd move the Steelers out of Pittsburgh

• He'd let Dan Rooney control the team for as long as Rooney would like


Kurt: Well that’s good news, anyway. This Druckenmiller seems like a decent guy.

Me: I guess we’ll see. Ugh. I feel ill.

~end conversation~

For the love of all that is good and just and right and holy in this world, please---please!---don't mess with the Black and Gold!

Go Stillers!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Never-friggin'-more

As if, as a die-hard Pittsburgh Steelers fan, I actually needed another reason to hate the Baltimore Ravens (aka 'Old' Browns):

Ravens to Offer Fans Free 'Peck-Your-Eyes-Out' Service

Trained ravens as mascots, the actual friggin' birds, ominously gliding around the stadium and screeching out touchdown and Go Ravens?!

My take?

Apocalyptic flurry of feathered, mite-infested, sharp-beaked, scaly-taloned ebony horror. Gah!

Friggin' GAH!

Auroral Kilometric Radiation (AKR)

Okay, so . . . the 3rd grade science geek in me is all kinds of excited about this clip from SPACE.com:

http://www.space.com/php/video/player.php?video_id=080627-earth-sounds

I've been a big fan of the aurora since the first time I saw it
over Lake Superior . . . .

Okay. Okay. My fascination with the aurora maybe began earlier when I learned about it via Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem's "Can You Picture That?" lyrics,

Lost my heart in Texas
Northern lights affect us
I keep it underneath my hat
Aurora Borealis
shinin' down to Dallas!
Can you picture that?
Can you picture that?


Yeah, well . . . learning comes from unusual places sometimes. Anywho . . .

These 'Earth sounds?' Seriously cool.